Holy Cow

We’ve been adventuring through the south with great gusto so far: we’ve ventured to Virginia, partied it up in Asheville (one of my all-time favorite towns!) and driven down to the wilds of Dalton, Georgia. Where today’s comes from.

Our target today was the Wink Theatre, a venue Colleen had visited the year prior on her tour of Max & Ruby. Back then, it left much to be desired: apparently, the building that housed the theater was under construction, the cast was left to change in some sort of coffee shop, and the windows were uncovered, giving a “show” (of sorts) to nearby construction workers. Needless to say, we were all prepped for a rough day when we rolled in (quite literally) before dawn and started unloading. However, it was clear much had changed in twelve months, for when I walked through our loading doors, this is what greeted me:



And then, as I walked the barn roof pieces into the theater, I noticed this:




And this:



And, once the set was finally up, I stepped back and looked at the whole, rather odd and psycho-rocker-looking, picture:



Still unsure exactly what was going on, I stepped onstage and took a peek behind the big white screens on either side of the stage:



Yep. Today, we performed in a church. Well, not just a church. Actually, our performance space was a church, preschool, Sunday school, bookstore, performing arts center and coffee shop all rolled into one. All that stuff behind our set is the church’s praise band (complete with two keyboards, four electric guitars, a drum set and thousands of dollars of professional sound equipment), which was concealed pre-show by a big gold curtain. Down at our feet was a large digital clock and, at center-stage, a thin Dell-brand computer screen, presumably for the minister-type-person to keep tabs on his timing and double-check his script. (I had to make sure I didn’t kick it during our opening number choreography.)

I’m rather suspicious of organized religion in general, having grown up in a mixed-religion household where we didn’t attend any weekly services and only did the holidays that involved presents or food, so I was already feeling a little out of my element. Too much religion, too close to me and too early in the morning! I changed in our dressing room (referred to as the “Preschool Theatre” and complete with a stage, rocking chair, light board and whimsical playhouse) and got ready for our shows. What was our audience going to think of us? And me? With my great big “inspired preacher revelation” moment (I fall down on my knees and get all throat-y) and my unfortunate Minnesota-tinged southern accent. Was I going to be run out of town? Sent to religious reform school? Made to testify? I stopped by the bathroom just before “places” was called on our first performance (too much coffee) and was greeted by a sign that read: “I can do all things through Jesus who gives me strength.” Gulp! Clearly, this was not my day.

Of course, our two shows went just fine, despite all my worries (and nobody made me confess my sins or “bathe in the light of the Lord”). I got a huge chuckle out of our contact introducing us as “thee-AY-terworks” and loved watching the kids bounce along in the front row. I was, however, reminded of one thing typical of deep-southern TYA audiences, a learning from Max & Ruby I: they don’t clap much. Oh, the kids laughed at all the same spots, were clearly engaged, applauded uproariously at the end and even offered up a few good “kid quotes,” but the whole “clap after a song” concept seemed to be out the window. It took some getting used to, but, by the second show, we were all comfortable buttoning the songs with a pause and moving right along. This may be a trend for the next few months. We shall see.

Post-show we took a photo for the local paper, chatted a little with the kids (who peppered us with great questions), packed up in the blazing heat and headed for the Atlanta airport. It’s time for Alaina to retrieve Cargo Cathy.

Call tomorrow: 12:00pm, Atlanta Airport Hilton. (Yes, Hilton!) We’re driving to Greenville, SC, where we have three days off and then a four-day sit down. Can life get much better? I think not.

Kid Quote of the Day: As Loretta started chomping away on her "pizza," a little girl turned to her mother and said, "Oh my goodness, he's gonna eat a pizza, Mommy." A few minutes later, when Loretta had not yet emerged from behind the box, she again turned to her mother: "He's still eating!!"

Colleen Tractor Quote of the Day: (For context, I put my tractor away before Colleen could get to it) “Ethan Marc Angelica!! I am very proud of you today. And, because you did such a good job, I’m giving you three days off.”

Everything's a-Runnin' Smooth, Part 3: Truckin' Home

We woke up, got ready, ate breakfast, and drove our 10' truck (named Bobby-Ray) to the Lincoln Theater at University of Hartford for a two-show day. We were once again down a third of the set (and my beloved tractor), but this space's modest size seemed strangely more appropriate for our diminished set. The loss of my tractor prop had made the first 30 seconds of the show a little miserable (there's only so much jaunty walking, hitch-kicking and marveling at the glories of the farm that one can do without any assistance), so Alaina wisely sent Shaun and Colleen, dressed as chickens, onstage to help distract the kids. The shows went fine, we packed up our tiny truck and headed back to the dealership, to visit Cargo Cathy in "sick bay" and retrieve our remaining set pieces. Cargo Cathy wasn't doing so well:




We lugged the remaining set pieces out and, with great precision and planning, placed them into our tiny truck:




Despite the ordeal, we were happy to be reunited with the full set as we trucked to our La Quinta in New Haven. While more negotiations with UHaul ensued.

While visiting Cathy, we learned that there was no definite repair date, partially because the insurance company had not responded to the dealer's request for a quote, and partially because they had yet to determine the extent of the damage. Theatreworks was still holding out hope for a Saturday fix, but we were not so sure. To be on the safe side, we reserved a 14' truck in New Britain for Saturday, with a final destination of Greenville, SC (our four-day sit-down at the beginning of April). Seeing Cathy in pieces did not inspire much hope.

Friday rolled around, and we got ready to perform in New Haven, when the reality hit: should we need to retrieve Cargo Cathy on Saturday, Alaina and one actor would be losing their day off. Not only that, this was our final day off in New York City before heading off to the South, not to return until June. So, clearly, nobody was jumping up for this position. Tensions ran high before the show, infusing the performance with a new energy that was at once exciting, and unnerving. Post-show, Alaina hopped on the phone to Theatreworks and returned with news: Cathy's "due date" was set for the Monday after we were to head down south, which meant that we would be pushing up the reservation date on our new 14' truck, and driving it down to Greenville. The consequence for this? Once in Greenville, Alaina would be flying back to New Britain to drive Cargo Cathy down to meet us. We loaded out, drove to the New Haven UHaul location where our third (and final) UHaul was waiting for us, and did it all over again:




Tired, cranky, but relieved to be finished with this ordeal and going home, we rode into the traffic of the Cross Bronx Expressway, and back into the city we call home. And everyone was so happy to be there.

Call tomorrow: A glorious day off. Thank goodness!

Kid Quote of the Day: When Shaun appeared onstage for the first time in his Duck costume (which includes an aviator jacket, hat and goggles), a very indignant little child announced: "That duck should be naked." Umm...

Colleen Tractor Quote of the Day: "Ethan Marc Angelica!! I know a young man who has been missing his tractor very badly for the last few days. I think the least he could do is put it away after he's done with it."

Everything's a-Runnin' Smooth, Part 2: Nightmare on UHaul Street

Picking up where we left off…

Awake, alert(ish) and ready to go the next day, we headed off to Springfield, MA with our tiny van, which was packed to the gills with only about 2/3 of our set (with all the costumes and hardware in our passenger van):



When we arrived at the theater, however, realized that there could not have been a less-opportune time to lose our set pieces: Symphony Hall in Springfield, MA, is exactly what the name implies, and it is gigantic. Our nice, but smallish, set would still have been dwarfed by the enormity of the space. However, now that our set was down to two units, it just looked silly. Alaina’s quick thinking and the crew’s ingenuity with the mains helped reduce this factor a little, but it was still downright odd:



Between shows, we started calling UHaul dealerships, hoping that somewhere we would find a truck that could accommodate our set, and that we could keep for more than 24 hours. After calling six UHaul dealerships (two of which hung up on us!), we were routed back to our friends from the prior evening, who – surprise! – now could provide us with a 10’ box truck. Problem with this situation? Our set will BARELY fit in a 10’ truck, and they wanted a definite final destination. With Cargo Cathy headed to a shop in New Britain, and no idea when she might be back, this was near-impossible. To add to the difficulty, the approaching Saturday was our last day in NYC before we headed out until June. So, without any knowledge of Cathy’s “due date,” and because UHaul refuses to disclose their Change of Final Destination Fees (only saying that the cost is "astronomical"), we were bracing for three months of set-in-a-10'-UHaul touring. Which would not be fun. We settled on New Britain as our return location, and Saturday as our arrival date, hoping that all would be fixed by then. But we were bracing for the worst: continually extending this reservation -- in a too-small truck -- day-by-day for the next three months as we tour the South, and then driving the sucker back to New Britain, all the while accruing over-mileage charges.

Post-show, Alaina drove back to Worcester to drop off the key so Cargo Cathy could be towed to New Britain, while we loaded the van and lunched in Springfield. Upon her return, we all drove to Worcester and, for the first of many times, unloaded our UHaul van into a 10’ UHaul truck:




It was gonna be a squeeze once we got the rest of the set back. With this task successfully completed, everyone piled into the vehicles, and hopped on the road, bound for New Britain. The pack was tight, and it held the whole way. Upon arrival, we dropped our stuff at the charming La Quinta and raced back to the dealership, hoping to retrieve the rest of our set from the poor, addled Cargo Cathy. We were on a roll, ready to get the rest of our set (and our show) back, when Alaina made a minor discovery: we had no key for Cathy. Frustrated, tired and grumpy, we trundled off to Chili's for dinner, and then home to bed.

TO BE CONTINUED

Call tomorrow: 7:25am, La Quinta, New Britain, CT.

Kid Quote of the Day: When I first take the computer away from Jenny, a little girl shouted: “That’s not a real computer!”

Colleen Tractor Quote of the Day: No real quote today (I was missing my tractor), so I’m working off of stock. This one came from a day when I forgot to set my tractor at the BEGINNING of the show. “Ethan Marc Angelica!! I had to run all the way across the stage to get you your tractor. The least you could do is put it away!!”

Everything's a-Runnin' Smooth, Part 1: The Demise of Cargo Cathy

(A note for my more tender-hearted readers: this post contains one word about excrement that might be considered PG-13)

I had intended to write a post today about the beautifully restored 1870s music hall in Portsmouth, NH that we performed in this morning. However, despite my affinity for all things vaudeville and the theatrically historical (and the awesome tour of the theater’s nineteenth century innards by Zhana, who basically runs the place), the tale that came about today was indeed one for the record books.

We enjoyed a lovely lunch at Flatbread, a fantastic pizza shop right next to the theater, dodged the raindrops and piled into Cargo Cathy and Proud Mary (our cargo and passenger vans, respectively). I was safely snuggled in among the pillows at the back of the Proud Mary while Aaron drove, dreaming of George Cohan tapping across the boards in Portsmouth and pretending that I was in his shoes. Alaina and Claire were guiding us to Springfield, MA in Cargo Cathy, where we had a Super 8 and our pay stubs waiting for us. Everything appeared to be “a-runnin’ smooth.”

I awoke with a start when I heard someone shout “Oh shit!” and the car (which wasn’t going all that fast) stopped quickly. Still gathering my bearings, I roused myself enough to watch us pull off the freeway, right behind Cargo Cathy, which was right behind a guy in a big white pickup. Pickup Guy id guy looked like a rugby player, with a shaved head, cropped beard and huge biceps. And he didn’t look too nice.

As we came to a stop in a truck parking lot, I learned what had transpired. Cargo Cathy had been having some brake problems and, combined with the rain, was unable to stop quickly in the stop-and-go traffic that we had been battling our way through. The white pickup had borne the impact. Yet, even though the van was both going under 10 MPH, something was wrong.

Alaina handled the interaction very professionally. Pickup Guy turned out to be really friendly and helpful and, together, they inspected both vehicles for damage. The pickup hadn’t sustained anything (perhaps a few paint scrapes), but it was a company vehicle, so our new friend needed specific documentation. Cargo Cathy, however, was not in good shape:



Yep. At first glance, all we saw wrong was a busted fender and cracked headlights. Neither seemed to be terribly “life-threatening,” until Pickup Guy noted a strange liquid dripping from the side of the van. “You’re leaking radiator fluid,” he said, in a thick Worchester accent. “You should probably get that looked at before you get going.” So, we grabbed our collection of Blackberries and iPhones and started looking for a vehicle repair shop. The good news: we were in Worchester, MA, which has an auto shop on every corner. The bad news: none of them serviced Sprinters. So, while we could get Cargo Cathy looked at in Worchester, there’d be nobody to repair any damage for miles.

We wheeled into a shop and, in the continuing rain, learned more bad news: Cargo Cathy had suffered internal damage, including a cracked radiator (which needed to be completely replaced), and should not be driven. Yet, we had a show to do the next day, and Springfield, MA was still an hour away. Alaina called Theatreworks, and we received our marching orders: head to UHaul, rent a truck, transfer the set and get moving.

If only it was that easy.

Worchester’s only remaining UHaul rental location is not a pleasant place. The people are fairly grumpy, it smells of something foul and, worst of all, they’re stingy with their vehicles. Despite begging and pleading, Alaina was unable to secure any sort of one-way rental, in any vehicle, anywhere. In fact, UHaul even refused to rent us a truck – all we were offered was a 24-hour, in-town rental on a moving van, which was far too small for our set. After more consultation with Theatreworks, Alaina returned with the details: we were to jettison the roll drop, roof of the barn and my tractor (over a third of our set), pack the passenger van and new UHaul van with as much set, sound and costume equipment as we could, and head off to Springfield. As quickly as possible. In the rain.

So we did:



Wet, tired and shaken after a few slips and slides (both human- and van-related), we tumbled into Proud Mary (whose back two seats were filled with our costume bags and bins) and set a course for Springfield. As we started driving, with Journey’s “Livin’ on a Prayer” playing in the background, Aaron turned to us and smiled: “I hate it, but I love it.”

TO BE CONTINUED

Call tomorrow: 7:40am, parking lot of our Super 8, West Springfield, MA.

Kid Quote of the Day: “What is a granddad with out a granddaughter?” Well, somebody in the front row had the answer: “You’re mean!”

Colleen Tractor Quote of the Day: “Ethan Marc Angelica, I know somebody who won’t be getting any pizza for lunch unless he puts away his tractor!!”

A Tale of Two Boots

As background, it is important to know that Theatreworks/USA is always very ingenious in their footwear for their shows. In Max & Ruby, I wore, among others, an excellent pair of lime green Keds and green cowboy boots. Christmas Carol was more standard, although all the period shoes were incredibly comfortable (how this was managed, I do not know). Click Clack Moo, however, calls for some extra creativity. What exactly do you give an actor playing a cow to ensure their feet look like hooves? Apparently, our designer found the perfect answer: UGGS. And thus begins our tale:

Aaron received a pair of UGGS from Theatreworks at his costume fitting, like all of the cows, but his UGGS were a little different. They were slightly oversized, and a bit crumpled around the edges. All of this was fine, as it fit his character choices well, giving him a little shuffle and adding to the general look of sweetness about Loretta. However, over time, the crumple began to worsen, the define began to split and the boots wound up like this:



Aaron and Alaina had spent weeks going shoe shopping for UGGS in every town we visited. There had been trips to Macy’s, Target and the all-mighty Payless. However, UGGS are out of season, and finding them in men’s sizes proved a challenged. So, with another show waiting after the boots met their demise, the adventurous pair headed to Payless, armed with the Theatreworks debit card and a need for black shoes. And here’s what they found:



We’ve dubbed this look “grandpa Loretta.” And, while it was a charming look, it was just about all any of us could do to keep it together onstage. So, Theatreworks got a call, they dispatched one of their buyers, Alaina made a trip to Chelsea Studios and, at our next show in New Hampshire, Loretta was returned to her full glory:



And the old boots got the heave-ho!



Call tomorrow: 7:05am, the Port Inn in Portsmouth, NH. What a lovely town!

Kid Quote of the Day: This one came from Alaina: Apparently, after Jenny stormed into the house and returned immediately with her suitcase, a little boy in the back just couldn’t deal with it. “Teacher, how did she pack so fast? I just don’t understand it! How did she do it?”

Colleen Tractor Quote of the Day: “Ethan Marc Angelica, we are in Jersey, there is flooding and your tractor is not insured!! Put it away!”

Dad Comes to See The Show

OK, so today was a big one for me. In four tours with Theatreworks, plus Slim Goodbody, today was the first time either of my parents have seen me perform in a Theater for Young Audiences production (my main mode of employment over the last three years). TYA is a hard-enough thing to explain to a complete stranger, but even more difficult to describe to the 'rents. Dad had the honor, and he picked quite a performance. We had a packed house of kids who went crazy for us and a stellar show that went off without a single hitch. I couldn't have asked for better. And seeing my father's reaction backstage, even knowing how supportive both of my parents have been ever since I took up this crazy avocation/profession at the age of 8, well, it just made me want to jump for joy. I feel like now, regardless of what they thought I might have been doing on these tours, they completely get it and, clearly, they love it!



Call tomorrow: 6:30am, 108th and Amsterdam. We're off to Red Bank, NJ, as the week of local shows continues.

Kid Quote of the Day: We wound up having to reset in full view of a bunch of kids. Every single time a character walked out onstage, they would cheer. And, eventually, they just started chanting "Cow" over and over again.

Colleen Tractor Quote of the Day: "Ethan Marc Angelica!! Time's a wastin'! Put away your tractor!"

The Tractor

Many of my long-time readers may remember that, as Farmer Brown, I have a one-dimensional tractor. Well, after breaking and being repaired by our prop guru Colleen, the responsibilities of managing the packing and unpacking of the tractor fell to me. You see, I am one of the few people on the cast tall enough to get the darn thing in and out of its bag. And, since I spend the most time dealing with this prop, Colleen assigned it's management to me. However, as this was not part of the original pack/unpack that I learned in rehearsal, the idea that I was to manage the tractor was a difficult one to grasp, for whatever reason. And Colleen, who manages the props with a deftness like no other, was quick to remind me at the end of the show that I needed to put the tractor away. Her reminder usually went something like this:

"Ethan, don't forget your tractor."

Well, one particular day, her gentle reminder came out with a certain air of motherly guilt-trip. The cast got a kick out of this, and I proceeded to encourage her to make this a regular occurrence. In fact, I now refuse to put the tractor away until Colleen has given me specific instruction to do so. In homage to our mutual friend Lauren (who toured with us on Max & Ruby II), the daily reminder started to come with a Long Island Jewish accent. Then Colleen began to include my full name (including middle!) And, since its humble beginnings, this ritual has grow more and more absurd tone every single day. In fact, some of Colleen's gems are so priceless that, beginning with this post, I am adding a new end-of-the-blog section known as "Colleen's Tractor Quote of the Day." So, when you read each one, imagine it highly accented, and directed as though its recipient (me) is three years old. I promise, they're good!



Call tomorrow: 7:20am, 108th and Amsterdam. We are in the throes of our last week of local shows. Which means I'm barely sleeping. And tomorrow is a big day!!

Kid Quote of the Day: When I ask "What is a farmer without a farm?," one kid (who was clearly paying close attention to our quick changes) shouted, "A chicken!!"

Colleen Tractor Quote of the Day: "Ethan Marc Angelica! You are dead to me if you do not put away your tractor."