It seemed it would be a musical theater battle for the ages: cows versus candlesticks. A true "rumble" in the style of West Side Story. And, we knew we were outnumbered: Shaun ran into a cast member in the laundry room, while I spotted a handful in the fitness center and Grace bumped into three in the elevator. It soon became clear that it was 5-1, with the Beast holding the advantage. Things looked bleak. However, we barnyard-types held a secret weapon: the elusive Equity card.
Over dinner, we planned our attack: first we would take out the cutlery. Then Grace, whose mother played Mrs. Potts for years on tour, would use here extensive knowledge of the show to help us get to Belle and the Beast (clearly the leaders of this operation). Claire was to make a distraction, I had designs on the clock, Shaun and Colleen were ready for hand-to-hand combat with Gaston, Aaron was stalking Lefou and Alaina had a prompt script poised to knock out the PSM. It was all a matter of time: they had an 8pm show, which meant the restaurant would be staying open to accommodate a late-night meal. I nominated as the spy, prepared to infiltrate their group, meet their operatives and gather as much info as I could, so I hunkered down in a lounge chair at the bar, sipping Jake & Cokes and waiting patiently for the targets to arrive.
They never did.
When I awoke the next morning, I knew I had to up my game. They had escaped after a show (sure, they were "tired" and "had a two-show day the next day" that "Disney executives were attending" and so they "had to rest up" -- I've heard it all before), but they would not escape this morning. I plopped myself down in the lobby, feigning illness as I hacked and drank copious amounts of water, hoping my "vocal weakness" would lure them to this "sickly" member of the pack. And it worked! I spotted two fleece-clad agents walking towards me, no doubt eying my infirmaries and plotting their attack. They would not take me down so easily! I bolted out of my chair and introduced myself:
"Hi, are you here with the tour of Beauty and the Beast?"
The agents looked suspicious: "Yes."
"I'm here with the tour of Click Clack Moo."
Their next move was a stunner. Suddenly, the questions came out about our tour. Where had we been? Did we know any similar people? I learned that a few of the Beast-ly cast members had auditioned for our show around the time the were offered this show. Clearly, these agents had been well-trained by the Beast and Belle. Not to be outdone, I returned fire with questions about their tour, learning that they are all on year-and-a-half contracts, with few days off until August, very long travel days and mostly week-long sit-downs. We were facing skillful opponents with great stamina and endurance -- not a good sign. We said our goodbyes and the two agents walked away before I realized that they had outsmarted me! Their subversive wordplay had caught my stealth action off guard. So, not to be entirely humiliated, I chose to take the one piece of revenge I could:
Beauty and the Beast, you may have won this time. But, mark my words, the next time we meet, the cows are takin' you down!
Call tomorrow: None! It's a day off at home! How lovely!
Kid Quote of the Day: During curtain call, the kids "moo"-ed at the cows instead of applauding them.
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